The Thing About Foxes
Part 2
The River
‘I came here in a river’ said the girl to her mother when she was very little. ‘I came here in a river that isn’t really a river but like a river and it carried me along in the egg and then I was here’ she said anxiously. The girl didn’t have the words available to describe it any better or she might also have said that this river connects all life everywhere, a gentle constantly flowing energy called the River of Life and she might have tried to describe it’s infinite power and beauty. But of course, there are actually no words to describe such a thing as the River of Life.
‘I don’t understand’ said her mother, ‘tell me again’ But the girl had felt the painful stab of the silent glance between her mother and father, the stab of rejection, the stab of fear from not being understood and being helpless, even the beginnings of a stab of shame, so she couldn’t say it again and became silent. Why could they not feel what she meant, why can’t they just see inside her? Then they would know as words are of no use for the things she wanted to share with them, things which would make them happy! But not being able to, makes her feel alone and frightened. The girl stayed silent and looked out the window at the cat and the birds in the garden and at least knew they knew what she meant.
In time the girl will learn there are safe and unsafe things to talk about. What she wants to talk about comes under unsafe and what others wanted to talk about comes under safe. But she struggles with safe as it is not real, and so she stays silent, an invisible bystander, trapped in a world which does not speak her language with so much darkness around her where there used to be light…..
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